First They Killed My Father

On April 17, 1975, a group of soldiers dressed in black with red sashes and scarves ride into town on large cargo trucks. Along with their unusual outfits, Loung immediately notices their long greasy hair, commenting, “It is believed that men who wear their hair long must have something to hide” (17). As a cheering crowd forms around the men, but Loung’s father knows that something is not right. Loung and her father return to their home to find her mother packing what she can. Loung is confused by the behavior of her parents and older siblings. At this time, her biggest concern is what car they will take, the Mazda or the truck. Once they pack up and leave their home, the Ungs find chaos in the streets as the soldiers shout to everyone in Phnom Penh to leave the city immediately.

With the Ung children piled in the cab of the truck, the dust and dirt from the hot, dry season blows into their faces. When night falls, the family stops and sleeps under the stars. As they relax, Loung asks questions about what is happening to them. She asks about the cats they left behind and about the reasons behind the Khmer Rouge’s actions. Her imagination keeps her awake as she ponders more questions and enjoys looking at the stars.

The next day, the truck runs out of gas and the family is forced to walk. As they walk, they encounter a Khmer Rouge soldier who takes their watches and forces them along with guns. While Loung is curious and a bit excited at the beginning of the chapter, by the end of the chapter she is afraid.

The Ungs walk for seven days alongside many more Cambodians who were forced out of their homes. This long walk is punctuated by the sound of gunshots and questions from Loung. She asks her father why they cannot return home, as the Khmer Rouge soldiers told them they could return in three days. Her father tries to console her.

Their first stop is a checkpoint called Kom Baul. Once they arrive, the soldiers ask that everyone who worked for the previous government check in at a table. Even though Loung’s father worked for the government, he does not go to the table. He tells his family that they will pose as peasants. The soldiers go through all of the Cambodians’ bags to see what they had. The family passes through the checkpoint and are able to spend the night at the checkpoint. That night, Loung dreams about pretty dresses and bright colors. But the next morning, they are back on the road again. The Khmer Rouge continues to lead the remaining Cambodians—many of whom were killed when they checked in as former government workers—using guns and bullhorns. Loung describes the intense smell of body odor, as many people have not bathed for over a week. On the seventh day, they reach their destination: the town of Krang Truop, where their Uncle Leang lives.

On the eighth day of their journey, the family arrives in Krang Truop, where they plan to stay with Uncle Leang and his family. One of Loung’s earliest memories is of the cow bells that reminded her of the ice cream carts back in Phnom Penh. Shortly after their arrival, her father takes time to meet with the chief of the village to see if they can stay. Instead of having their own home, they are to live in the single-room hut where Uncle Leang and his family live. Loung is moved by the fact that 17 people would be living in one hut. She begins to recognize their poverty and asks her father why they cannot reveal who they really are. Instead of answering her honestly, her father tells her to stop thinking about Phnom Penh. As Loung realizes her life will never be the same, her father hugs her tightly. She then listens to her father talk about the politics of the Khmer Rouge and the Lon Nol governments. As a five-year-old, she is too young to be interested or to understand.

There are several challenges for Loung in this chapter. She sleeps on a wooden floor, surrounded by her sisters. She learns to relieve herself outside, even in the middle of the night. She also must learn to ride a cow and shower outside. The novelty of living in a tiny village quickly wears off when she sees villagers collecting cow dung. She becomes even more disheartened when she sees how tired her father is each night when he returns from working in the fields.