Our Infinite Fates

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of child death and child abuse.

Evelyn often thinks about her preferred future: what she’d like to do if she survives her 18th birthday. In her incarnation as Branwen Blythe, she recognizes that she’s “always had an unhealthy attachment to objects. They felt like touchstones of the lives [she] loved, and yet [she] could never take them with [her]” (246-47). These objects become symbolic of her lives—of who she is and of whom and what she loves in each one. As Branwen, she grows especially attached to an old Singer sewing machine that she keeps at the back of her closet. It symbolizes her dreams of owning a vintage clothing store, traveling the world to hunt for interesting pieces, developing her own fashion line, or simply becoming a seamstress who mends her clients’ “beloved garments.”

In short, the sewing machine symbolizes Evelyn’s future—one that she knows she’ll likely never enjoy unless something significant changes in her life. While sitting in her bedroom one day, she says that she leaves “the wardrobe ajar, as though that would keep the doors to [her] dreams propped open too” (247). On the one hand, looking at the machine makes her sad because she knows that she will likely never achieve the future it represents; on the other hand, it represents the dreams and potential that give her happiness.